By Alta Alexander


Couples that seek counseling services indicate their desire to solve prevailing issues and remain together. However, marriage counseling in Huntington Beach will not be effective if individual partners are not adequately prepared. Couple therapy specialists point at the need to have reasonable expectations. It enables the couple to enjoy the benefits of therapy.

The common expectations are an opportunity to express distress about your partner and seek the intervention of the therapist in finding a solution. At the end of such a session, you hope and expect to return home a happy couple. You maybe expect to learn new or better skills that will make your relationship better and happier.

No partner expressly accepts that he or she is the source of problems or trouble in any relationship. The accusation is always directed to the other party. This is a dangerous mentality to take to a therapy session because it hinders you from identifying your contributions towards the existing conflict. The best approach is readiness to accept your role in the deterioration of the relationship.

At no point is the counselor going to fix the problems in your relationship. The role of therapists is to assist in identifying points of conflict which makes it easy to find a solution. The session is a neutral platform where you can air your deepest concerns without fear or intimidation by your partner. Any change that will happen as a result of therapy will have to be initiated by the partners and away from the office.

The objectives of couple therapy are not only to solve current issues or to deal with problems. The sessions should help the partners to reflect on the kind of life they wish to build and enjoy together. It also is an opportunity for individual members to focus on becoming the best possible partner in that union. This realization will enable the two to build the kind of relationship they desire.

Individually, take time to spot the behaviors that hinder you from becoming the best partner you can ever be. Look at your dream relationship and find the things you have already abandoned. Focus on what you thought an ideal relationship and partner would do and seek to reignite that. This may require certain changes to take place. Therapy sessions help to open your mind to such possibilities.

As a couple, you have landed into this situation because of the contributions of each of you and over a period of time. Each has played a significant role in the crisis and has an even bigger responsibility to rectify the situation. The counseling session is not a time to defend your words and actions. It is a time to listen, admit your contribution and find a solution.

The aim of attending a couple counseling session is primarily because both of you are interested in remaining together. This means that you must evaluate what the relationship means to you and your willingness to make it work. Identify the changes that you have to make to ensure positive growth of the union. Identify the attitudes required to hold the two of you together and what motivates each of you to remain in the union.




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